Chapter 3

        The primary inhibitor continued to stream live footage of different areas.
        Somewhere in the dark empty void, a blue-haired girl named Konata Izumi stood next to a tipped-over giant Recycle Bin she had discovered the previous August.
        "Yeah, I know what you mean," said Konata. She was talking to her cousin, Yutaka Kobayakawa, a short young girl with pink hair in twin ponytails.
        "It feels like everybody's watching me," said Yutaka. But her school uniform was not in its proper colors. Yutaka's outfit was changed to blue and pink with vibrant purple ribbons on her shirt and in her hair. Altogether, this outfit's colors were reminiscent of the clothes of another pink-haired character who had suffered under a curse that transformed her into a magenta bubble-blowing dragon.
        Konata considered the idea that the giant Recycle Bin may have landed on Yutaka and caused this drastic change in colors. She did not notice that Soldier was in the area.
        "Now that is what I wanna see!" declared Soldier, before he grabbed the penguin on the back of his belt and teleported away in a bright flash.

        Back at Warmfront's RED base, magical girl Mami and swimmer Nagisa were finishing their conversation.
        "I guess I better get home!" said Nagisa in a slight panic. "Sorry for bothering you!" He then headed out the giant shutter door gate.
        Mami turned around and saw a girl with pink hair tied in a ponytail over her left shoulder. The girl seemed to be slightly impatient while waiting for Nagisa to run beside her. The girl's name was Serah Farron, and she was the one who had slapped Homura in the face half a year ago. However, instead of wearing her battle dress, Serah was in a white sleeveless dress shirt and a red plaid skirt.
        As soon as Serah saw Nagisa catch up to her, her sulky expression appeared to soften a bit before they turned to leave the Warmfront area. Mami's attention to Serah was broken when another song, this time in a Scottish Highlands style, played out loud on her walkie-talkie. Mami raised it up to check.


Och aye, that's my bonnie wee lassie
Och aye, that's my bonnie wee lad

        Mami lowered her head and closed her eyes in worry.

        Meanwhile, Engineer, with his Eureka Effect wrench in hand, was in a control room above a bright orange test chamber with a vintage-looking room-sized anti-mass spectrometer. He had gotten the spectrometer up and running, with plasma energy beams forming a central pillar of light and a triangular shape between its upper rotating cylinders and the base in the floor.
        "It's beautiful!" Engineer spoke softly. He had heard about Black Mesa's notable piece of equipment, and always wanted to see it in action.
        "My God, what are you doing?" shouted one of the two scientists in the control room.
        In a bright flash, Soldier appeared inside the test chamber, and was right next to the active machine.
        "What is he doing in there?" asked the other scientist.
        "Get him out of there!" said the first scientist in a somewhat tense manner. "Shut down the equipment and someone get him out."
        Just outside the test chamber, though, Vanellope, still in her teenage form, had found herself face to face with a security guard with body armor and a chrome helmet. She leaned toward the guard with a curious grin on her face and her right hand to her chin; she had not changed her hairstyle.
        "Come on!" said the guard in disbelief. "You trying to get me into trouble?"
        Back inside, the second scientist was crouched down in the corner, muttering to himself, "Now where did I leave that shutdown procedure chart...?"
        Under the belief that the scientists could safely shut down the spectrometer as long as a sample was not inserted into the beam, Engineer raised his Eureka Effect wrench as high as he could above him.
        A bright flash of light sent Engineer out of the Black Mesa facility. Soldier also noticed the flash in the upstairs window.
        "Well, back to the front," Soldier said to himself. He reached behind him and squeezed his penguin once more, sending him away in his own bright flash.

        Soldier found himself back in the empty void between worlds. He saw three girls in maid outfits in front of him, all standing around a half-oval Aperture Science radio. The first one, Tsuruya, had long green hair styled in a way that showed off her forehead, and had a wide open smile on her face. She wore a purple dress outfit with a white apron and a thin red ribbon on her chest, and her white school shoes. The second girl was known as Maid Gunner, and wore a narrower black maid outfit with a white apron, and black boots with belts surrounding her ankles. Finally, the third girl was actually not a human, but a robot. Her name was Fujii, and she had blue hair with giant cat ears and two long ponytails from the back of her head which were marked by giant yellow circles with indented slits. She wore a blue and brass-gold maid outfit with a metallic white apron, and had boots in matching colors; her arm joints and elbow caps were prominently visible.
        The three maids were bobbing their heads to an LhS, or light-hearted song, that played from the radio in Japanese. It was a song that some people could be willing to dance to.


Zenzen tsukamenai himi no koko
Zenzen shiranai unchi ni
Kokoro ubawareru nante koto
Aru hazu nai desho

        Soldier noticed five protesters in spacesuits creeping up behind the maids. Suddenly, the men began to taunt them.
        "You know what that song is?" proclaimed the first protester. "Sandstorm."
        "Yeah!" agreed the second protester. "It's always been Sandstorm."
        "What makes you think that?" asked the third.
        "Well, you moron," explained the first protester, "we all were at an event, where a fool played the real Sandstorm and none of us knew what it was."
        "We got insulted for not knowing," continued the fourth protester. "That's why we think every single song is that!"
        "Aeiou!" proclaimed the fifth protester.
        The three maids looked at the spacesuit men, visibly confused and worried. However, Soldier felt that these idiot spacesuit-wearing protesters were too naive for their own good. He pulled one of his grenades that were strapped to his chest, and rolled it forward.
        "You maggot scum have just signed your death warrants!" shouted Soldier. He then indicated the grenade at the protesters' feet.
        The third protester angrily spoke up. "Gay prick, you are gonna pay for that!"
        All five spacesuit men were sent backwards by the grenade explosion, with four of them in artificial screams. Just then, a time-screw portal filled the area with blue light, scooped up all five men and sent them out of the area.
        Fujii walked up to Soldier and took a bow toward him. "Thank you!" she said, though in a voice that wasn't exactly hers.
        "O-kay!" proclaimed Soldier proudly. He chuckled to himself as he squeezed his penguin once more.

        At the inhibitors, Madoka and Sayaka waved each other goodbye as they parted ways for the afternoon. The both of them left the area just before Engineer appeared in the room with a bright flash.
        Engineer was about to step toward the primary inhibitor, which still had Sniper's camcorder attached to it by its black cord. But just then, the whooshing of an invisibility watch's cloak was heard.
        Spy wore a headset-mounted hat on top of his balaclava mask, and still had his bloodstained blue suit on. He appeared next to the bananaphone that had appeared in the room earlier.
        "Huh. Well now," spoke Spy softly in amusement.
        Suddenly, the phone began to blurt out its signature theme.


Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring

        Spy became annoyed and quickly took out his Ambassador revolver and shot the phone. It was sent quite some distance away from the inhibitors.
        "Yes... good times for all," sneered Spy sarcastically.
        Meanwhile, Engineer turned his attention to the primary inhibitor and swung his Eureka Effect wrench onto it.
        The signal scramble caused another song to play on the small white music box next to the destroyed Inhibitor 2. This time, however, it was a French song.


Mademoiselle, voulez-vous danser
La Bastringue, la Bastringue
Mademoiselle, voulez-vous danser
La Bastringue va commencer?

O Monsieur, je voudrais danser
La Bastringue, la Bastringue
O Monsieur, je voudrais danser
C’est pour vous accompagner.

        As a fiddle began to play in the song, Spy became even more frustrated.
        "This is outrageous!" yelled Spy. He then threw his headset-mounted hat onto the ground. "I will stab this memory out of my skull!" he angrily concluded before whooshing into his cloak and leaving the room.
        Engineer hit the inhibitor once more.

        The music stopped, and the inhibitor once again displayed the retro racetrack that Scout and Sniper were at.
        Scout took out his walkie-talkie from his bag and attached it onto his hip. However, another song began on the walkie-talkie as soon as he attached it.


And he called for his singers three

        Scout looked down at his walkie-talkie that was playing a "la la la" chorus to the song's tune. He slapped it with his right hand, and the music changed with an introductory piano riff.


I shouldn't have to clean my room
It's just not fair!

        "Argh!" groaned Scout.


Or learn to use a mop and broom
It's just not fair!

        Engineer grumbled as he stepped over to the music box. He gave it a tap with his Eureka Effect wrench.


The floor is a place where things should be
With clothing piled up to my knee
Because garbage dumps appeal to me
It's just not fair!

        But it didn't stop or change the song.
        Sniper also noticed that Scout's walkie-talkie was playing songs out loud. But Scout slapped his walkie-talkie again, and the music finally stopped.
        "Help!" yelled Sniper.
        Engineer was back in front of the primary inhibitor. He would have to use the inhibitor's time-displacement feature even though he heard that time-screws had been sent all over the place by the Opposition. He hit the machine twice quickly.
        WHACK WHACK!
        A blue portal appeared at the racetrack, pulled in Scout and Sniper, as well as Sniper's go-kart, and faded away.

        Pew pew POW!
        Scout and Sniper were thrown to the floor in the inhibitor room, safely returned.
        "Job well done," said Engineer.
        "Holy..." reacted Scout.
        "What the bloody hell just happened?" asked Sniper loudly in confusion as he looked around him.




Chapter 4 >